Be Your Own Advocate
For far too long, women have been dismissed, misguided, or downright ignored when asking questions about their bodies. Millions of women lack access to the care they need, especially those in marginalized communities and at critical life moments: pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, and in their post-reproductive years.
Enter Dr. Sharon Malone—a leading obstetrician, gynecologist, menopause practitioner, and champion for women's health. Sharon is also a long-time friend and trusted colleague. With three decades of experience treating patients, she has made it her mission to shine a light on the myriad health issues facing women, especially those that are often overlooked or dismissed.
In this week’s episode of Beyond the Prescription, Dr. Malone talks about her work and her own journey as the youngest of eight children to becoming one of the nation’s leading experts in women’s health. We discuss what is needed to achieve equity in women’s healthcare and how to empower women with the information and resources they need to make informed decisions about their own bodies.
Starting this week, I am releasing the podcast early—right now!—for my beloved newsletter readers. I hope you’ll have a listen. And please rate and review the pod, too!
Sarah is my patient. She is a 50-year old educator and mother with hypertension, heartburn and knee pain. She is also entering menopause, yet she has shelved her medical problems for the last two years.
Caring for her elderly parents and shepherding her kids through pandemic schooling added a new level of stress to her already hectic life. To cope, Sarah has been overeating at night, relying on alcohol to relax and guzzling coffee to stay alert. Her medical problems have subsequently flared. She’s put on weight. Her knees ache. Her Ibuprofen use and coffee habit are exacerbating her acid reflux. Her hot flashes are worse from the alcohol and caffeine. Adding insult to injury, she’s ashamed to admit to herself—and to me—that she’s struggling.
How could she not feel undone? COVID has stolen lives and taken jobs. It has caused widespread economic and social upheaval. It has disrupted our routines, challenged our relationships, and put self-care last on the to-do list.
Women, in particular, have endured unique challenges during this global pandemic. We are caring for our kids, parents and households. We are working more and sleeping less. As caregivers, we tend to prioritize the needs of others over ourselves and inadvertently set ourselves up for distress.
Yet my patients commonly enter my office with remorse—embarrassed they’ve gained weight, sheepish about their alcohol use, apologizing for missing their mammogram.
I get it.
The problem is this: it’s time for a checkup. It’s time to put our health at the top of the list. It’s time to leave shame at the door. Here is my prescription for you:
Recognize how normal you are.
We are wired for survival. When faced with a threat like COVID-19, our bodies naturally release stress hormones—cortisol and adrenaline—into our bloodstream. These neurochemicals allow us to run from danger; they can also make us feel anxious and unwell. From jitteriness and heart palpitations to fatigue and insomnia, a body under stress can feel simultaneously wired and tired. When we understand the natural human reaction to stress and normalize our feelings, we can start to remove the stigma of suffering.
Quiet your inner critic.
No one is immune to the stress of the pandemic, doctors and healthcare workers included. No one had a playbook for the pandemic. Each of us is struggling in some way. When we name and normalize the emotional, behavioral, and physical manifestations of our lives upended, we can start to accept help.
Know that your doctor wants to help (not judge) you.
A doctor’s job is to provide a safe, non-judgmental space. It is to help you pivot from fear-based decision-making to fact-based behaviors by establishing trust, providing evidence-based advice, and acknowledging your unique social and emotional inputs. It is to reframe weight gain, for example, as a symptom of stress or emotional eating—and not a sign of weakness. It is to provide nuanced guidance to manage the root causes of medical problems.
Ask for help.
Asking for help is a sign of strength. Accepting it opens the door to bettering your health. Your doctor is there to provide structure and support. When you get the advice and tools you need, you can start to take control of your health. When you replace fear with facts, you make healthier decisions.
Get vulnerable.
Bring your whole self to the doctor. Vulnerability is the birthplace of health. When we acknowledge our suffering and identify how our everyday stress affects how we think, eat, sleep, and relate to other people, we can begin to heal from the inside out. Instead of shaming and blaming ourselves, let’s acknowledge our lived experiences. Unmasking our internal reality and addressing the emotional roots of our physical issues offers us the opportunity to be healthier from the ground up.
Transitions are hard—even if where we’re going seems better than where we’ve been. Stress is cumulative. Grief takes a toll. So let’s treat ourselves with the empathy and kindness we deserve. Our health and well-being depend on it.
I will see you next week. Until then, be well.