Friday Q&A: dismissed by doctors; ADHD vs. inattention; vaccines before visiting baby; & osteoporosis meds
This week is grab bag of subscriber questions!
ICYMI
Podcast 👉 I interviewed NYT best-selling author and therapist Nedra Tawwab about the physical and emotional toll of relationship drama—and how healthy boundaries can help. Listen here!
Recent Q&As
Click here to submit your questions (about anything) for future Q&A posts!
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are entirely my own. They do not reflect those of my employer, nor are they a substitute for advice from your personal physician.
QUESTION #1
I often feel dismissed by my doctor when I the thing I am complaining about doesn’t show up in a test (blood test or Xray for example). I can’t tell if I am being overly worried … or should my doctor be paying more attention? I am pretty old … so lots of things hurt.
- Jack P
Dear Jack,
I love this question. It’s easy to assume there’s nothing serious going on when lab or imaging tests are normal. The problem? So much suffering is invisible. Take, for example, my patient who recently lost his wife and whose grief is affecting his appetite, blood pressure, and chronic pain. Our stories live in our bodies.
Sadly, our medical system is more about testing and referring than it is about listening and learning from the patient's story. Here are some tips to make sure you’re being heard by your medical provider:
Make sure you explain to your doctor exactly how you work, live, and move your body. X-rays and MRIs are important diagnostic tools; however, they’re only a snapshot. They tell us very little about function. So be sure to explain the relevance of your symptoms to your regular life. For example, hip pain that doesn’t show up on an Xray but that limits your ability to get out of your car can be a classic sign of femoro-acetabular impingement syndrome—one that could dramatically improve with physical therapy. Listen to your body; it holds the clues!
Make sure you understand the doctor, too. Having been a patient many times myself, I understand that it can feel like we’re not being heard. When doctors speak or move hastily, we might seem disinterested. When doctors make a quick diagnosis, we might seem uncaring about the whole story. While sadly sometimes this is true, I think most doctors simply don’t have time to explain the nuances of their decision-making process to patients.
As a physician, I benefit when patients say things to me like:
Could you explain this to me in more detail?
I want to make sure I understand the risks and benefits of this [procedure/medicine/treatment]—could we review them again?
Could we schedule a phone call when you have more time and once I’ve digested all of this information?
The upshot? Know that your symptoms are valid, even if they don’t show up in a test. So make sure your story is heard. Advocate for yourself. It matters!
If you like what you are reading, hit the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover my writing on Substack! 🙏
QUESTION #2
This past year my son’s teacher has noticed that he has been having difficulty focusing in school. However, I haven’t picked up on any changes in his behavior, and when I’ve tried to bring it up, he doesn’t want to talk about it—or he says that his teacher doesn’t know what she is talking about. How can I tell the difference between normal inattention and ADHD? - Alice K
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Are You Okay? to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.