Hope is Healthy
Thank you, dear readers far and wide, for all of the positive feedback about my Retrain your Brain newsletter from Monday. It clearly resonated!
I think I know why: many of us feel simultaneously wired and tired, revved up and burned out, hypervigilant and exhausted. Let’s remember we’ve been doing this pandemic “thing” for over 15 months. It’s completely normal to experience late-pandemic fatigue.
I feel it, too.
This month I’ve been seeing many of my teen and young adult patients. It’s clear that young people have been uniquely vulnerable to the stress of the pandemic. I’m seeing more depression, anxiety, disordered eating, and addiction issues that, for many, stems from disrupted routines, social isolation, and the absence of adequate coping mechanisms due to pandemic restrictions.
We are wired for survival (hence the anxiety we’ve all felt during the pandemic). We’re also wired for connection. We need human interaction for our social and emotional development. We need to bounce off other people for our health and happiness.
As a physician I have the privilege of witnessing the human condition in raw form. I also deliver a lot of bad news. Sugar-coating bad news isn’t good for anyone, but when rooted in facts, it’s amazing what a little optimism can do for our health. A dose of hope can help propel us forward, mentally and physically. And right now — despite the doom and gloom headlines about COVID-19 — we have every reason to be optimistic about the future.
Are there reasons to worry? Sure. Am I watching the data on the delta variant and vaccine-related myocarditis like a hawk? You bet. But when we put data into context and add nuance to what seems like a black-or-white decision, we can turn off the open spigot of anxiety and look toward the horizon with hope instead of dread.
Today I have the pleasure of sharing the story of an incredible young woman. Shicari is a college student in California who reached out to me over email earlier this month. We have communicated a few times by phone. She told me her story of isolation and loss, struggle and survival. Today Shicari is living proof that asking for help is a strength — and that hope is healthy. She is an inspiration to me.
I am honored to share Shicari’s essay with you with permission. (Trigger warning: talk of suicide.)
My name is Shicari. I’m a resident of Los Angeles, California. I go to Mt. Sac community college and I’m legally blind. Last year was really tough for me as it was for everyone else. But I feel it was even more tough because of my disability. When our governor issued the stay at home order I was so depressed. I couldn’t see my friends at school and I had to be forced into a style of learning that was new and unfamiliar to me. This remote learning is not real learning. I am a social creature.
What’s more is that my needs could not be met. So I thought about suicide more than once. I even wrote a journal entry about how I should kill myself. I knew that my problems would be over if I was dead. You must understand it wasn’t the virus that I was afraid of. It was the lockdowns. It was the fact that we were told that we couldn’t see anyone for an indefinite period of time. They even lied about how long we would have to do this. First it was only 15 days. Then they said it was for a month. It turned out we would be living this way for another year.
But then in December, the vaccines came. Now I had some hope. With vaccines we could open everything up and I could go back to in-person learning! In February of this year, I decided that everyday I would go on the CDC website and look at the numbers of folks being vaccinated in this country. I’ve been doing this for 6 months now and it’s changed my mood tremendously. It has become a habit to do this. My thinking was the more people who’ve been vaccinated the more likely that we will be going back to school this fall semester. Also, I called an organization called Calhope. It’s based in San Francisco. Calhope gave me someone I could talk to if I had anxiety over Covid. For example, I was anxious about the variants, so I called Calhope. They gave some emotional support. I’ve been calling them everyday ever since. I can't tell you how much better I felt after a chat with one of the counselors at Calhope. Unfortunately, they don’t have an epidemiologist on call.
That’s when Dr. Monica Gandhi and Dr. Lucy McBride came in! I followed Dr. Gandhi on YouTube. She was even a guest on this local radio show that I listen to every day. I listened to a podcast where Dr. McBride talked about the facts. Listening to them I could tell they were the most reasonable people who I could talk to about Covid, the variants, and the future of the pandemic. I decided to reach out to Dr. Gandhi and to Dr. McBride. Dr. McBride called me on the phone and helped answer some of my questions. She gave me hope.
She is optimistic about the future. But also realistic. She tells the truth. I know with their help I will get through the rest of this year! Now I no longer fear the future of the pandemic anymore. We’re at the end of what was a rough ride. I’m sorry that I didn’t reach out to Dr. McBride and Dr. Gandhi a year ago. But we’re here now. That’s my story, and I am here too.
I will see you next week. Until then, be well.