What Are You Feeding Your Brain?
Conscious consumption of digital technology is good for our health
Whether we like it or not, screens inform how we work, play, parent, and relate to other people. So today is all about screens and health:
This week’s newsletter is a practical guide for parents. Dr. Jacqueline Nesi, clinical psychologist and professor at Brown University, breaks down the data on screens, kids, and mental health.
This week’s podcast episode is a 12-minute explainer, from me to you, about how I talk to my patients (and to myself!) about digital hygiene and its relevance to our whole health.
How to Build Healthy Habits Around Screens
By
When I meet new people, it usually goes a little something like this.
Them: What do you do?
Me: I’m a clinical psychologist and a professor at Brown. I spend most of my time doing research.
Them: Oh, what do you study?
Me: The effect of screens and social media on mental health.
Them: [Eyes widen. A brief gasp. A knowing head nod.] Ohh, boy, it’s really bad, right?
It’s no wonder this is the typical reaction. We’re regularly bombarded with panic-inducing headlines about screens and social media. Too much screen time decreases your child’s IQ! Social media is melting your teen’s brain! Too much scrolling is causing thumbs to spontaneously fall off!
The truth, as always, is more complicated.
It is true that rates of mental health concerns like depression and anxiety have increased in recent years, alongside the rise of digital devices. As many as half of adolescents will struggle with a mental health concern at some point in their lives, and more than 1 in 5 adults have in the past year. It’s also true that when we look at the data, people who use social media more frequently do tend to report slightly lower levels of well-being.
But this isn’t the end of the story. The problem with much of this research is that it ignores the fact that screen time isn’t just one thing. Our phones, and the colorful little apps that populate them, can be used in so many different ways. For some people, they make life better. For others, they make life worse. For most of us, it’s some combination of the two, depending on when and how we use them.
You may have also noticed that screens and smartphones don’t seem to be going away anytime soon. So, let’s talk about how to make them work better for us and our kids.
Here are three things to start doing today.
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Reflect on what matters most to you (and to your kids)
Chances are, you’re using your phone…a lot. And you are not alone. Here’s what the data say about how much time young people spend on screens each day:
Under 2 years old: 49 minutes
2- to 4-year-olds: 2 hours, 30 minutes
5- to 8-year-olds: 3 hours, 5 minutes
8- to 12-year-olds: 5 hours, 33 minutes
13- to 18-year-olds: 8 hours, 39 minutes
For adults, that number is anywhere from 4 hours to 9 hours per day.
These numbers are high, yes, but we also know from the research that more doesn’t always mean worse. Instead, the real concern when it comes to time spent on our devices is what that time is replacing. If it’s getting in the way of things we know are important for our mental health–getting outside, exercising, grabbing coffee with friends, being present with family–that’s when it becomes a problem. The same goes for our kids. If their use of devices is interfering with day-to-day functioning, at home or at school, it’s time to take a closer look at their screen time.
Here’s what to do:
Take a moment to check out your phone’s screen time data (here’s how to do it on iPhone and Android). Encourage your kids to do the same along with you. Approach this exercise with curiosity (e.g., Let’s check in on how much time we’re spending on our phones), rather than judgment (e.g., You’re so addicted to your phone!)
If you’re thinking about cutting down on screen time in your family, start by asking: what do we want to do instead? Instead of thinking about reducing screen time, think about adding things that matter to you, whether it’s family walks around the neighborhood, perfecting your sourdough recipe, or conquering the Sunday crossword once and for all.
Take stock of your screen habits—good and bad
Here’s an (abbreviated) list of things I did on screens yesterday: wrote this newsletter, started reading a new book, captured a video of my toddler singing “happa bird-deh tuh yoo,” got distracted from my family while scrolling on Instagram, sent three separate emails beginning “sorry for the delay,” used a meditation app, discovered a new recipe for banana muffins.
Our devices provide us with access to a vast array of content and activities. Some of these may be good for us (or at least necessary for living in today’s world), while others are…not as good. As many as 80% of teens say technology helps them feel more connected to friends, but at the same time, more than one-third report feeling overwhelmed by drama or social pressures online.
Lumping all “screen time” together misses these nuances. Sometimes, screens promote learning, creative expression, and connection with friends and family. Sometimes, screens get in the way of those very same things.
Here’s what to do:
Make a list of the many activities you do on your devices and ask your kids to do the same. Consider where your family is spending time online, from sending emails to listening to podcasts to scrolling through (or making!) TikTok videos.
Ask yourself why you might be engaging in those activities. Some may be obvious–say, when you’re responding to an email from your boss or FaceTiming with a long-distance friend. Others may not be so clear. Why are you watching Instagram stories or scanning news headlines at a given moment? Boredom? Interest? Entertainment? Avoidance?
Practice “mindful” scrolling. Slow down and take time before, during, and after screen time to check in on how it makes you feel. Was it helpful or harmful? Why? Encourage reflection in your kids by asking them questions about how they use their devices—What do you like about using TikTok? What don’t you like as much?
Get curious about your interior world
One of the trickiest parts of doing research on screen time is that each of us brings unique strengths and vulnerabilities to our everyday behaviors—including how we relate to screens. And these characteristics affect both how we choose to use them and the impact they will have on us.
For example, a recent study asked teens to report how they felt after scrolling social media on multiple occasions. Their answer? It varied. Overall, just about half (46%) of teens said they felt better afterward, 10% felt worse, and 44% felt the same. And for each teen, it varied depending on the occasion, too.
If I’m a parent who’s particularly sensitive to social comparisons, watching videos of stylish moms creating heart-shaped miniature sandwiches and hand-written notes for their children’s bento box lunches might not make me feel my best. If a teen has difficulty managing their emotions, playing highly-engrossing and competitive video games immediately before homework time may not work either.
Here’s what to do:
Ask yourself what personal challenges and strengths you and your kids bring to your screens. Maybe you or your child are highly social, but often act impulsively. Texting with trusted friends might be healthier than posting on Instagram. Maybe you or your child are conscientious workers but have a hard time disengaging from your “to do” list. Scheduling phone-free times of the day and/or turning off notifications may help you unplug.
Make sure your family’s needs are being met outside of screens too—whether that’s encouraging your child to get together in person with friends, or advocating for better work-life balance for yourself.
Summing Up
If it’s not already obvious to you, maintaining digital hygiene takes work. The algorithms are designed to keep us engaged—and to want more. It’s much easier to passively consume content (and endless notifications) than it is to erect appropriate boundaries around screens. Tech companies know this. They understand how our brains work! They want us to rely on our devices, rather than to more consciously consume content.
Building healthy screen time habits means being aware of these forces. It means taking a more mindful approach to our relationship with screens by assessing our emotional lives and needs. It means allowing screens to improve our lives, not to overtake them.
Jacqueline Nesi is a clinical psychologist and professor at Brown University. She writes a weekly newsletter about psychology, technology, and evidence-based parenting for her 9,000+ readers.
This week on the podcast!
I discuss how I talk to my patients (and to myself) about digital hygiene and its relevance to our whole health.
Whether it’s alcohol and sugar or Instagram and TikTok, the question isn’t just How much? It’s What is my relationship with the thing I’m consuming?
Expanding on my framework called the Four “I”s, here I argue that a healthy relationship with technology requires the same self-awareness that we should apply to everything we feed our brains and our bodies.
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This feels like a silly question but does TV count as screen time or does screen time usually mean tablets and phones?
Thank you for this! I just unsubscribed to a COVID/medical newsletter because it was really keeping me in an anxiety loop trying to problem solve things I have no control over. I am grateful that you continue to connect mental and physical health topics. It helped me realize what was not healthy!