Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Grace Fierce's avatar

What sucks so bad is the fact that discussions of trauma—especially early childhood trauma— and how it impacts every single aspect of human development forever are almost never mentioned in these important conversations.

I grew up in a brutally abusive environment. Not a single change I attempted to make with my physical or mental health as an adult worked when I still believed shaming myself out of bad habits was possible. Understanding and doing the exceptionally hard, expensive, and time-consuming work of processing my childhood trauma has completely transformed every aspect of my health. And I know I got extremely lucky since not a single doctor has ever asked me about my childhood trauma unless I bring it up mySelf.

I have an older sister who experienced all of the same abuse that I did—only the ways she was sexually violated when she was very little tremendously impacted her weight. She’s extremely overweight and feels intense shame around her appearance every single day, not to mention terror that she may not live long enough to see her two beautiful kids grow up (she isn’t diabetic “yet,” so her doc can’t prescribe Ozempic!). But as her sister, I know on some deeper level, she would rather feel ashamed and afraid of the future than unsafe with no escape in the present. She would rather live in a body she knows others are disgusted by than to experience the utter repeated powerlessness she did when she was violently exploited as small child ever again. How the fuck could anyone who understands that blame her?

People—especially most academics and doctors who’ve seldom viscerally experienced violent trauma—think people like me and my sister are outliers. We are not. Because of the shame-motivation permeating our entire culture, the many, many people who’ve had horrible things happen to them in childhood have seldom learned to speak openly about them, especially not with powerful, authoritative figures like doctors. Furthermore, we don’t need sociopathic alcoholic dads or repeated experiences with violent child abuse to be fueled by trauma responses. Our entire domination-brainwashed, war-obsessed, racist, patriarchal culture is buried under so many layers of intergenerational trauma and profitable systems of overt abuse that most of us are too dissociated to even see the reality around us clearly.

The greatest gift of understanding and processing trauma is that one must come to understand the paradoxical extent to which something can be entirely NOT her fault and simultaneously also her most important lifelong responsibility. But if we don’t get the NOT our fault part first, the shame of believing it is will always lead us to believe we don’t truly have the ability to respond with any real agency. That is how trauma breeds—and that is why we are still stuck in the massive health crisis we’ve collectively inherited despite so much progress.

Expand full comment
Jim Sanders's avatar

I am not obese. I could stand to lose a few pounds created when my activity slowed because of atrial flutter and medications for slowing the heart. However, that is not why I’m commenting.

What I’m watching is a change in the tenor of medical treatment as more women become physicians. There appears to be, in my view, strong correlation between a higher percentage of female doctors and medical treatment with more care and sensitivity.

I recognize correlational evidence can be impacted by other variables and that I should not over-generalize, however, my experience goes all the way back to being a Navy Corpsman during the Vietnam war when the male doctors often acted as if they inhabited Mt. Olympus, as the population of the sick and/or injured received care from the angels of care, the female nurses.

Good and thoughtful article that I like because it eschews the simplistic, recognizing the reality of complexity. So, thank you.

Expand full comment
32 more comments...

No posts