Be a Helper
MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
On this beautiful Saturday in Washington, DC, I’m perched on my front stoop, my pup Leo by my side, watching my neighbors stroll by. And I am reminded of my bonds with them—even the ones I don’t know.
I’ve noticed a silver lining of the pandemic: that even as passers-by gracefully swerve—or sometimes stumble—around one another, they are exchanging friendly greetings like never before. When I walk Leo, for example, I’m more acutely aware of my surroundings but equally attuned to peoples’ above-mask facial expressions. I am noticing, for example, how “conversational” our eyes alone can be—conveying warmth, meaning, and connection! I now recognize the critical importance of eyebrows! And thank GOODNESS the Botox I tried a few years ago wore off—it would have COMPLETELY prevented me from fully engaging with my fellow poop-scooping comrades!
And then there are people like my patient Marjorie whose (UNTIL NOW) anonymous communication with neighbors has inspired hope and joy in her community. Her homemade signs posted on trees and telephone poles quietly remind passers-by that even when apart, we are together. Pictured here are some of her and her daughter’s heartfelt creations. To me, true kindness is helping others when no one is looking. Indeed, Marjorie is not looking for praise but rather a sense of shared calm and community. (Which is why she is letting me BLOW her cover here: to share an idea and awaken other creative minds.)
We should also remember that some of our neighbors are alone, struggling, and particularly vulnerable. They may want and need help but don’t always ask. Here are a few ideas:
If you are heading to the grocery or the pharmacy, consider asking a neighbor if they need anything while you are there.
Loan someone a hedge clipper, weed whacker, or lawnmower, or—better yet—loan your masked teenager to go with it!
Be willing to listen. When a neighbor stops to talk, know that the brief encounter with you may be their only moment of connection all day—and may mean a lot more than you know.
Just ask, “How are you doing today?” when you pass someone on the sidewalk. If the person you’re engaging with today happens to be me, I’m happy to chit-chat. It’s Saturday, and I’m feeling frisky! (And if it happens to one of my kids, know that they’re likely wearing EARBUDS TURNED UP TO VOLUME 15, so I advise crouching 6 feet in front of them and frantically waving your arms. They love that.)
No matter your politics, age, or relative teenage oblivion, we rely on our community, including neighbors we have never formally met, more than we know.
As the wise Fred Rogers once said, “There will always be helpers.” My mental health tip of the day is to be one. Even the smallest gesture of kindness is good for our health.
And even though it’s natural to crave praise and validation, try this BONUS tip: do something kind without anyone else knowing. Sneak a small act! Then notice how it feels, savor it, and realize its intrinsic power—all for yourself.
I’m taking tomorrow off but have scheduled a message of inspiration to be delivered to you then. Enjoy!!