Exercise your Control
MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
Here are three things I’ve learned this week:
Obsessively hitting “refresh” on my browser does NOTHING to advance the final tally of election votes.
Taking breaks from reality in order to breathe does not imply indifference toward the needs and suffering of others.
I really don’t need the pair of high-heeled white leather boots I impulse-purchased on election night. But I am keeping them anyway.
Let’s break these nuggets down, because maybe you can relate.
First, let’s remember to sort out what we can control from what we cannot. With so much news and information coming at us, it’s easy to feel trapped in a constant state of reactivity. With so many stimuli to process, we can easily feel out of control.
It’s harder—and healthier—to set limits and boundaries around media and social inputs and to decide first what you want to digest. For example, I cannot control the outcome of the election at this point. I cannot control how other people think, feel, and behave. Yet I can control the amount of time and emotional energy I’m spending on these issues and my reactions to them.
Second, it’s important to remember that taking care of our emotional health isn’t selfish or a sign of apathy. Feeling angry or stressed doesn’t measure how deeply we care about people and the world around us. In fact, taking stock of our thoughts and feelings, recognizing and changing our behaviors to reflect our intentions, and taking care of our own needs before caring for others is a TOP SKILL and one that bears fruit for everyone around us. Empathy for others begins with self-compassion.
Last, retail therapy can be very effective. To me, these white boots represent hope for a 2021 full of dress-up, parties, and FUN. (Life is too short to be practical every damn day.) Indeed, self-care can take many different forms, from scheduling a walk with a friend to buying a stack of celebrity gossip magazines. Find your pleasure, and make it a double (as long as it’s legal).
So my advice for you this week?
Work on things you can control: how much media you ingest, how you react to the news, and whether you venture outside for a walk, call a trusted friend, or get lost in a good book.
Don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself, recharging your battery, and focusing on your needs. We all need space for stillness, self-reflection, and self-care. Your friends, family, and community are much better off when you’re YOU (and not the hot mess version).
Have fun. Be frivolous and silly. Cultivate joy. Whether it’s buying a completely unnecessary pair of boots, dancing alone to loud music in your PJs, or walking in nature with a friend, we all need ways to release stress and maintain hope for better days ahead. They’re coming! I promise.
I’ll see you next week. Until then, be well.