Take a Moment
MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
To me the week before Christmas always feels charged. Like there’s electricity in the air and lightning in my veins. I usually feel wired and tired—jingly and jangly—right up to the main event.
Don’t get me wrong: I love the holidays. I relish the rituals, food, and fanfare of Christmas. I treasure the time with my family playing Scrabble and watching holiday movies under the glow of twinkly lights. I love fruitcake and tacky sweaters and napping at noon. It’s a wonderful time to reflect on the year and give thanks for our many blessings.
But if I’m honest, I also find this time of year stressful. The race to buy gifts, fill stockings, and shimmy into a party dress can sometimes feel like too much.
When doused in booze, intense family love can sometimes spark fires. I’ll admit to uttering less-than-optimal language and un-burying some hatchets at past Christmases due to a combination of stress, shipping delays, and spiked eggnog.
Even before the pandemic, the holidays were fraught.
Enter COVID-19. Over the last nine months, the pandemic has taken a toll on our collective mental and physical health. Over 300,000 Americans have already died, and we’re still losing well over 3000 more each day. Our daily lives have been upended, our rituals and routines thrown out the window. Work, school, and worship have been stripped to the studs. We are lonely, depressed, anxious, and worn out.
The vaccine news, while promising, has prompted stress. When will we all get it? Who goes first and why? Will it work on new strains (see below)? When will we know?? It can feel particularly unfair that some of us have been vaccinated while others wait in agony.
But it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year! It’s time to be chipper and pert! It’s time to create magic for others, gracefully and selflessly!
The problem is that it’s hard to be merry when Mary only wants to stay in bed. When our emotional reserves have been stripped and our rivers of compassion are at low tide, it can be hard to feel festive. It can be hard to get through yet another day of waiting—and waiting.
So how can we get through the last 10 days of this hellish year while maintaining some semblance of grace?
Acknowledge the stress. It’s real. We’ve been under siege for nine straight months, all the while deprived of our usual coping strategies like socializing with loved ones and connecting at school, work and houses of worship.
Take stock of your thoughts and feelings. Are you lonely, angry, bored, worried, sad? Be honest with yourself. Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean you have to feel jolly on command. If you do, fantastic! But if you don’t, you’re more normal than you think.
“Don’t just do something, sit there.” This is one of my favorite expressions, reminding us to keep some space between our thoughts and our actions. For example, when you’re feeling stressed, you might impulsively lash out at your spouse or kids about an unrelated issue. Or when you read the news about the mutant coronavirus plaguing the UK, you might hit the liquor cabinet or cookie jar to soothe tension. But wait!! Know that a) it’s normal for viruses to mutate, b) this mutation does not affect the coronavirus vaccines’ efficacy, and c) all this means is that the virus is naturally selecting for more transmissible strains (as expected) and that we need to hold on tight until the vaccine is widely available. Vaccination will work. If you still want a beer or brownie, go for it! But do it for pleasure and not to manage pain.
Have hope. Why? Because we can. Now that the FDA has approved Moderna’s vaccine for emergency use, even more help is on the way. I was lucky enough to get my first dose of the Pfizer-BioNTech vaccine last Wednesday, and aside a slightly sore arm for a few days and transient fatigue on Friday, I’ve felt completely well since then. While it’s gonna be a while until everyone who wants it can get the vaccine—and waiting is going to be a BEAR—the fact that two highly effective and safe vaccines are being delivered into people’s arms is a triumph of science and sets the stage for a much better 2021. (Could it be any worse?)
Find meaning. Use these (neverending) moments of solitude to remind yourself what matters most to you. Just like Cindy Lou Hoo discovered the true meaning of Christmas after being robbed of the trappings, perhaps we, too, can take special pleasure in the simple things this holiday season—regardless of what holiday you celebrate. Like a quiet night in our PJs. Or just knowing that 2020 will be over soon.
Give back. One way to boost our own mood is to help others less fortunate than ourselves. Research shows that giving helps the giver as much as it helps the recipient. Particularly right now, with so much suffering around us, you can do a whole lot of good! If you are looking for places to help, two DC nonprofits that are dear to my heart are the Wendt Center for Loss and Healing and Community of Hope. Both do amazing work, helping our most at-risk populations with grief, trauma, healthcare and affordable housing.
Dream about what’s possible. Take a moment to think about this: once we vaccinate our most vulnerable populations and ultimately achieve herd immunity, we’ll eventually be able to resume normal human interactions, mixing and mingling with others (no doubt with added precautions). But really: how long can we go without hugging?? Know that all the suffering we’ve endured will only make our future freedoms feel all the more sweet. Today, the 21st day of December, is the darkest day of the year. Which means that each day from here on out brings a little more light. As we drag ourselves across the finish line of 2020, know that better, brighter days are ahead.
I will check in later this week. Until then, be well.
P.S. Join me and Dr. Clay Ackerly TONIGHT at 8 pm ET for our 10th LIVE COVID Q & A on Facebook LIVE. We’ll discuss vaccines, mutations, and getting through the winter. Bring your questions!