Take it From Me
MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
Today my husband will describe for you what it’s like to have COVID—and how it has affected all of us. We are grateful that he is recovering well, that the rest of our family has remained healthy and continue to test negative for COVID, and for the incredible support of our friends, family and larger community.
It takes a village, and we are so lucky to have you all.
Hello from the Isolation Unit. I’ve been referring to it as “ISO” but occasionally sprinkle in a reference to solitary confinement, e.g., the hole, the box, the dog house (depending on the audience). Feeble attempts at humor are part of my effort to keep my spirits up during my quarantine period. Because it’s really hard.
But it’s not just hard on me. So Lucy asked me to describe isolation ("ISO") and illustrate exactly how tough a COVID diagnosis has been on our entire family.
I’ll start with how I’ve been feeling over the last eight days since I received the diagnosis. I woke up early last Sunday morning with what felt like a mild cold—some head stuffiness, a minor chill, a slightly scratchy throat. I still had my sense of taste and smell. I took my temperature and it was normal. I told myself I probably had a cold.
I had hoped that food and coffee would perk me up, but it didn’t.
Were it not a pandemic, I might not have even mentioned my symptoms to Lucy because they were so mild, but of course this is not a normal time. I’ve also been extremely careful about wearing a mask, washing my hands, distancing myself from others, and avoiding indoor spaces except for the occasional grocery run or Starbucks pick-up. For our mental health, Lucy and I have seen a few close friends outside around our fire pit.
But I also remembered that, five days prior on my birthday, I had stopped in briefly at a friend’s house to pick something up, and I ended up having a beer and a brief visit in his kitchen. I had been on a long bike ride and was sweaty. I had a mask but did not put it on. Could that singular indiscretion after months of vigilance be how I caught the virus?
When Lucy woke up a little later I told her—from a distance—that I wasn’t feeling well. We masked up, arranged a test, and when it came back positive, down I went into ISO, totally separated from the rest of the family.
Throughout Sunday and Monday, I felt about the same, like I had a head cold: a runny nose, an occasional sneeze, a semi-scratchy throat. Frankly it felt like the sort of cold that, before the pandemic, many of us would have gone to work, run to the store, or even exercised with. I went to sleep Monday night feeling pretty good that I might whip this thing in a day or two.
But early Tuesday morning, around 2 am, I woke up and hurried to the bathroom because I thought I was going to vomit. I felt terrible. I didn’t throw up then (or ever), but when I got back in bed I lay in fear that vomiting was imminent. I was frankly a bit scared. I don’t remember ever having nausea when sick with respiratory symptoms. I also developed chest tightness out of the blue. I started to worry that I was going to have a really bad course of COVID, need hospitalization, and perhaps even be known as “the 47 year old otherwise healthy guy that died” from the virus. I was alone, and it was scary.
I had a restless remainder of the night. I took Advil that morning to help with my sore throat, which had really flared in the night. That helped—as did copious consumption of water and Gatorade, which a kind friend delivered that morning. (Thank you to many kind friends and neighbors for providing an incredible amount of food and drink. It has been an enormous assistance to Lucy and the rest of the family, since they've had to quarantine.)
Since that 8-hour scare I have been gradually getting better. I did partially lose my sense of smell and taste—though not enough to harm my appetite. In general the trajectory has been upwards, yet progress has been slow. It’s now been more than a week since I started feeling sick. That’s a long time for me. I don’t get sick often. I exercise regularly. I eat (relatively) healthfully. But we know the virus doesn’t care.
I’m also typically pretty self-reliant and try my best to be a team player with household duties. That has completely changed. With three teenagers and two pets, there’s a lot that goes into maintaining the household. But at present I am utterly useless except for placing Amazon orders and having phone consults with Lucy on parenting and other logistical issues.
For more than a week, I’ve interacted with my family only by phone. Sometimes Lucy shouts out to me from upstairs, but I can’t hear her over the hum of the HEPA air filtration device which is apparently sucking up tiny particles from the air around me. Or maybe I need a hearing aid. I’m sure Lucy and I will be discussing this post-ISO.
Anyway you get the point. I can’t do anything. Food is delivered to me. Water is delivered to me. Clothes are delivered to me. When Lucy or the kids drop off supplies outside my bedroom door, they are masked. They knock loudly and then seem to run off rather quickly. I get it!
We are incredibly fortunate to have enough space for everyone to be effectively distanced from me and one another. If we lived in a small apartment, I simply would not be able to meaningfully isolate from my family, and I would almost surely infect them.
Even with our good fortune, it’s really hard. Yet I realize it is an ENORMOUS imposition on the rest of the family. They are caring for (and worried about) me, plus they have to largely isolate in their own rooms and wear masks in the house. No in-person school for the kids or work for Lucy, no sports, no socializing even outdoors. They’ve also had to go about their lives with the knowledge that, notwithstanding the negative COVID tests they thankfully have received so far, they could still come down with the virus. And while they are forgiving, they are surely and deservedly frustrated that in the midst of their being so careful they nonetheless have had to go into lockdown because of my lapse in judgment.
I hope that this story helps people reassess their own behavior. Sadly that may mean (even) fewer opportunities to socialize with friends and family. It probably means canceling holiday travel. And it may mean dabbling in tricky family dynamics because invariably within most families there are differing views of what behavior is safe. (For a bit of humor on this subject, I recommend this SNL skit.)
There is no shortage of adjectives to describe how brutal it feels to have COVID and to know you have risked the health, safety, and day-to-day routines of other people. Regardless of how challenging life is for you now, I assure you that it is far worse with the virus.
I hope this account was helpful. I will check in on Thursday to talk about the vaccine. Lots to be excited about!
In the meantime, mark your calendars! On Friday, December 11 at 3:30 pm, I’ll be talking with the amazing grass-roots organization called Survivor Corps about COVID fatigue and fears. Sign up HERE to join me.
I will check in later this week. Until then, be well.