Avoiding completing taxes until the very last minute. Ugh. Always say I’m going to better each year. 🤣🥳. Besides why should we pay taxes when the money is just mismanaged? Yes that’s part of my rationalization of delaying until that last minute !
Oh, I avoid tax prep until I cannot any longer too! Fortunately, our circumstances are becoming less complex each year so the process is less cumbersome, but I always sigh and moan and procrastinate, and when finally do it, I feel so much better!
That's the story here. I pay the monthly bills but my husband does the taxes: because, although we are both on SS, he is still partly self-employed with itemized deductions stemming from his art. I can't do them and he procrastinates, and his mood is negatively affected for weeks leading up to 4/15, as he vows to take care of the taxes and then doesn't. Yesterday, after a new round of moaning about how much he hates doing the taxes and won't be able to get them done in time, I said 'why don't you just file for an extension?' What I didn't say was 'like you usually do.' Because that would have been heard as a criticism. There was an immediate expression of relief, and he thanked me for giving him the permission he needed to put it off for another six months. This has been going on for many, many years. <sigh>
2 comments. First, and most importantly, having a date with someone or a class to do X - whatever X may be - I find is always an incentive to show up and do X. It is always so easy to let things slide. Reminds me also of college; I always managed my study and "free" time best when I was playing my intercollegiate sport. Something about having an obligation to others that made me serve myself better. Still works with family obligations also; currently at Mayo Clinic in MN helping my wife deal with her health issues,
Second, like your 2 "bad examples," I had a colleague who, when asked by the dental hygienist whether he flossed, he always responded "Regularly," which was true. He always regularly flossed just prior to going to his appointment.
Also reminds me of my 9th grade English teacher, who once said to me in front of the class, "Mr. Viall, you are a good bad example." To which I responded, "Thank you;" most, if not all, of the class laughed. The teacher was a good friend of my parents, the story was told to them, and I was chastised in no uncertain terms to never act like that again. It worked for a while, but "My nature" returned soon thereafter.
I don't find avoidance delicious, in part because my thought about MY right shoulder is so fleeting ("oh, that's right, I need to make that appointment") that I don't sense the relief you are talking about. For me, the relief is in actually making the appointment so I can stop THINKING about making the appointment. Mine is on Thursday! (What is this with shoulders, and why does a strained rotator cuff tend to reappear?)
I have not done my One Thing (going to a therapist to talk through guilt) yet. I have no excuse, except some days feel lighter than others, so on those days I feel like I can wait it out. So... kind of an excuse, lol.
On the PT thing: I've been to PT 3 times in the last few years for various hip and elbow issues. It always works. The time it worked the best? When the PT used an app that not only had my exercises on it, but it would send me a reminder every day to do them. AND I could click the DONE button, which would send her a message that I had done them. Did she receive the notification? Not sure, and I never asked her. But for a rule-follower like me, it was the best motivator!
Retired Family doc here and rotator cuff survivor. If it is too painful to do the exercises then get the cortisone shot sooner rather than later. Focus not just on pain but your range of Motion. Shoulders due to their 360 degree range of Motion take about 12 months to rehab. Invest in a personal trainer who can get familiar with your whole self and physical strengths and limitations. They can help you
tweak your daily exercise and strength training program as new issues arise now that you are entering the whack a mole phase of life. I think of the shoulder like the rope that hoists the sail. When one of the strands degenerates you have to strengthen the other muscles to take up the work. Put a pillow under your affected arm at night. Use the guest bedroom until the pain has improved.
The "whack-a-mole phase of life" is right on. I'm well on into it. I've been through multiple rounds of cortisone shots and PT, which stop working eventually, leading to joint replacement (both knees and a hip). Now I'm whacking at the right shoulder mole. After the last cortisone shot, I was pain-free for only two weeks, and my PT had to discharge me for failure to make progress as the pain was ramping up again: advanced DJD on x-ray. Rather than book a date for joint replacement surgery, I decided to try something new--a Platelet Rich Plasma injection. I'm 10 days out now, and I wish I had just gone ahead with the surgery. The procedure itself was excruciatingly painful. And out-of-pocket. Expensive. I won't know if it has helped for 4-6 weeks afterward, and meantime I'm in just as much pain as I would have been post-surgery. To top it off, I had to go off my NSAID -- which I have been on for 15 years -- for two weeks before and two weeks after the procedure, so everything else hurts a lot more. YIKES!
I keep avoiding picking the one thing I want to focus on. I know there are many lifestyle changes I need and want to make - better sleep habits, better diet and nutrition, actually sticking with an exercise/movement routine, better hydration, establishing a meditation routine, etc. But I get so overwhelmed thinking about all the things I need to do and I don’t know where to start. I know something is better than nothing but I feel stuck trying to decide what that something should be. So I just keep avoiding because it’s easier than making a decision and actually committing to the lifestyle changes I need to make for my health.
one motivational trick that helps me is offering myself a treat or reward if i do the thing. but if it's a repeat thing that makes it trickier. i'm also a pleaser so if i have to report back to someone, i'm more likely to do the thing. the thing i have a hard time with is kid-related paperwork and returning personal admin calls (MD, dentist, etc etc).
I needed to see this thing on avoiding PT exercises at home. Six exercises for my hip. I have to set aside time in my day twice to do about fifteen minutes of exercise. It is hard with so many other things that command my attention. I have the instruction sheet hung up across from my bed. I can do some of them before I get out of bed. But the dog needs to go out, so not “now.” I am hungry so need to fix breakfast. Then it is something else. Going to make copies of the instruction sheet and put them all over the house. Wherever I am I can do one or two. Or three.
Ha, ha, Dr. Lucy. I AM retired with more time than you, but guilt is my great motivator to get my PT done. I know myself well enough to know if I don't do it before breakfast, I'll find every excuse not to do it later. That avoidance thing. 🥰
I consistently put off stretching, even though I understand it is just as important—if not more so—than the cardio and weight training I do. I recognize that it plays a critical role in preventing injury, yet despite that awareness, I delay it almost every day.
Avoiding completing taxes until the very last minute. Ugh. Always say I’m going to better each year. 🤣🥳. Besides why should we pay taxes when the money is just mismanaged? Yes that’s part of my rationalization of delaying until that last minute !
Oh, I avoid tax prep until I cannot any longer too! Fortunately, our circumstances are becoming less complex each year so the process is less cumbersome, but I always sigh and moan and procrastinate, and when finally do it, I feel so much better!
The relief of checking something off the list that you've been avoiding is REAL. LIke a cold glass of lemonade on a hot summer day.
That's the story here. I pay the monthly bills but my husband does the taxes: because, although we are both on SS, he is still partly self-employed with itemized deductions stemming from his art. I can't do them and he procrastinates, and his mood is negatively affected for weeks leading up to 4/15, as he vows to take care of the taxes and then doesn't. Yesterday, after a new round of moaning about how much he hates doing the taxes and won't be able to get them done in time, I said 'why don't you just file for an extension?' What I didn't say was 'like you usually do.' Because that would have been heard as a criticism. There was an immediate expression of relief, and he thanked me for giving him the permission he needed to put it off for another six months. This has been going on for many, many years. <sigh>
I hear you!!! Somehow we "need" that adrenaline spike to get it done.
2 comments. First, and most importantly, having a date with someone or a class to do X - whatever X may be - I find is always an incentive to show up and do X. It is always so easy to let things slide. Reminds me also of college; I always managed my study and "free" time best when I was playing my intercollegiate sport. Something about having an obligation to others that made me serve myself better. Still works with family obligations also; currently at Mayo Clinic in MN helping my wife deal with her health issues,
Second, like your 2 "bad examples," I had a colleague who, when asked by the dental hygienist whether he flossed, he always responded "Regularly," which was true. He always regularly flossed just prior to going to his appointment.
Also reminds me of my 9th grade English teacher, who once said to me in front of the class, "Mr. Viall, you are a good bad example." To which I responded, "Thank you;" most, if not all, of the class laughed. The teacher was a good friend of my parents, the story was told to them, and I was chastised in no uncertain terms to never act like that again. It worked for a while, but "My nature" returned soon thereafter.
I don't find avoidance delicious, in part because my thought about MY right shoulder is so fleeting ("oh, that's right, I need to make that appointment") that I don't sense the relief you are talking about. For me, the relief is in actually making the appointment so I can stop THINKING about making the appointment. Mine is on Thursday! (What is this with shoulders, and why does a strained rotator cuff tend to reappear?)
That is better than deliciousness of avoidance! :)
I have not done my One Thing (going to a therapist to talk through guilt) yet. I have no excuse, except some days feel lighter than others, so on those days I feel like I can wait it out. So... kind of an excuse, lol.
On the PT thing: I've been to PT 3 times in the last few years for various hip and elbow issues. It always works. The time it worked the best? When the PT used an app that not only had my exercises on it, but it would send me a reminder every day to do them. AND I could click the DONE button, which would send her a message that I had done them. Did she receive the notification? Not sure, and I never asked her. But for a rule-follower like me, it was the best motivator!
Retired Family doc here and rotator cuff survivor. If it is too painful to do the exercises then get the cortisone shot sooner rather than later. Focus not just on pain but your range of Motion. Shoulders due to their 360 degree range of Motion take about 12 months to rehab. Invest in a personal trainer who can get familiar with your whole self and physical strengths and limitations. They can help you
tweak your daily exercise and strength training program as new issues arise now that you are entering the whack a mole phase of life. I think of the shoulder like the rope that hoists the sail. When one of the strands degenerates you have to strengthen the other muscles to take up the work. Put a pillow under your affected arm at night. Use the guest bedroom until the pain has improved.
The "whack-a-mole phase of life" is right on. I'm well on into it. I've been through multiple rounds of cortisone shots and PT, which stop working eventually, leading to joint replacement (both knees and a hip). Now I'm whacking at the right shoulder mole. After the last cortisone shot, I was pain-free for only two weeks, and my PT had to discharge me for failure to make progress as the pain was ramping up again: advanced DJD on x-ray. Rather than book a date for joint replacement surgery, I decided to try something new--a Platelet Rich Plasma injection. I'm 10 days out now, and I wish I had just gone ahead with the surgery. The procedure itself was excruciatingly painful. And out-of-pocket. Expensive. I won't know if it has helped for 4-6 weeks afterward, and meantime I'm in just as much pain as I would have been post-surgery. To top it off, I had to go off my NSAID -- which I have been on for 15 years -- for two weeks before and two weeks after the procedure, so everything else hurts a lot more. YIKES!
I keep avoiding picking the one thing I want to focus on. I know there are many lifestyle changes I need and want to make - better sleep habits, better diet and nutrition, actually sticking with an exercise/movement routine, better hydration, establishing a meditation routine, etc. But I get so overwhelmed thinking about all the things I need to do and I don’t know where to start. I know something is better than nothing but I feel stuck trying to decide what that something should be. So I just keep avoiding because it’s easier than making a decision and actually committing to the lifestyle changes I need to make for my health.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/2207302196449683/?mibextid=9drbnH&s=yWDuG2&fs=e
This guy is a great start...15 minutes 3 times a week for all of these. Add walking, after dinner if possible, 20 minutes a day and you're golden.
Start exercise as your one thing. It will help with sleep and maybe motivate you to improve your diet. One step, one day at a time.😍
one motivational trick that helps me is offering myself a treat or reward if i do the thing. but if it's a repeat thing that makes it trickier. i'm also a pleaser so if i have to report back to someone, i'm more likely to do the thing. the thing i have a hard time with is kid-related paperwork and returning personal admin calls (MD, dentist, etc etc).
I needed to see this thing on avoiding PT exercises at home. Six exercises for my hip. I have to set aside time in my day twice to do about fifteen minutes of exercise. It is hard with so many other things that command my attention. I have the instruction sheet hung up across from my bed. I can do some of them before I get out of bed. But the dog needs to go out, so not “now.” I am hungry so need to fix breakfast. Then it is something else. Going to make copies of the instruction sheet and put them all over the house. Wherever I am I can do one or two. Or three.
Ha, ha, Dr. Lucy. I AM retired with more time than you, but guilt is my great motivator to get my PT done. I know myself well enough to know if I don't do it before breakfast, I'll find every excuse not to do it later. That avoidance thing. 🥰
I consistently put off stretching, even though I understand it is just as important—if not more so—than the cardio and weight training I do. I recognize that it plays a critical role in preventing injury, yet despite that awareness, I delay it almost every day.
Same! My 58-year old self feels like it's a waste of time, but I'm guessing my 78-year old self will wish I had done more.
THIS!