It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE
It’s okay to not be okay.
Earlier this week, I wasn’t. I spent two late nights this week feverishly responding to emails from people I don’t know asking me to defend my “position” on hydroxychloroquine. Then yesterday I woke up, smelled the proverbial coffee, and realized that a total stranger asking me to defend science and facts is as nonsensical as my daughter Stella, at the tender age of 3, asking me, “Mommy, is today TOMORROW?” (At age 14, she now has a firm grasp on the concept of time.)
Or maybe you’re not okay because you’re a parent whose school just announced full distance learning for the fall. If you’re not currently in the fetal position, perhaps you’re squinting at your computer screen and simultaneously Googling “How to teach Kindergarten,” “How to be your own therapist,” and “How to forge an international passport.”
Or perhaps, whomever you are, you’re just tired of it all. Worn out, exhausted, sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Bottom line: IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY.
Let’s break this ditty down:
First off, do you have a CHOICE? I suspect that if you had the option for things to be okay, you’d probably pick it.
“Yes,” you’d say to the waitress with a smile, “I’ll have a double serving of normalcy with a side dish of common sense. Oh—and hold the bullshit, please.”
Second, accepting reality is healthier than fighting it.
The physiological lifespan of an emotion in the body and brain is 90 seconds. Feelings can't REALLY do that much damage—unless, of course, we hold on to them, give them life and a cozy home, then deny their existence. The reason that common catch phrases like “This too shall pass” and “Keep calm and carry on” bedazzle row upon row of mugs in TJMaxx and Target is because feelings DO pass and humans DO carry on—and apparently we need those reminders every morning over coffee.
So validate the unpleasant feelings. Acknowledge that you are having a hard time instead of fighting it. Then figure out where to put it.
Third, if you were fully okay, I’d wonder if something was wrong with you.
It’s normal to be intermittently distressed, anxious, irritable. That’s not to say you shouldn’t DO something about these feelings, but it is absolutely expected to have emotional and physical symptoms of stress during a global pandemic.
In fact, if you always looked as good as you do on your Instagram feed, I’d wonder what you were smoking.
Because HOPE is the antidote to pretty much everything right now, I’ll offer a smidge:
More and more people are wearing masks.
We are learning more every day about this virus and its behavior.
Researchers are working furiously to find therapeutics that are safe and effective.
The vaccine trials look promising.
Beyonce dropped a new “visual album,” and it’s great. So did Taylor Swift. Who runs the world?
Meanwhile, CLICK HERE to view the clip from my live conversation today about TEENS AND THE PANDEMIC with NYC adolescent medicine physician, Dr. Hina Talib. She is worth listening to and following! Stay tuned for more collaborative projects with her.
And last, Dr. Ackerly and I will discuss COVID-19 and HOPE on Monday night at 8 pm. Join us then on Facebook live for our fifth “Q & A with Lucy & Clay.”
I will see you soon. Until then, be well.