The last time I had a drink was April 2024, nearing a year ago. Okay, a lot of drinks. Far, far too many that night. Usually--meaning, if I am very honest with myself, about 75 percent of the time--I'd stop at two. The other 20 percent of the time I'd go to three. Ish. But a handful--a rather big handful-- of times in my life I went overboard, as if responding to some internal pressure building, building, building. Heeding a goblin-like little voice that would insinuate itself into my head: "come on--you know it's been a while. Call up _____ and go OUT." Go where people were drinking. Heavily. I'd get the odd, but unmistakable, urge to let loose. Blow off steam. And when I'd get these urges I'd want to indulge them without my husband around. And then I'd come home and get massively, ridiculously ill, and have a debilitating hangover the next day. It was BAD. Really, really bad, some of these nights, not only for my health but, I have to admit, my safety. Then I'd drink nothing for a few weeks or a month, then go back to having a glass of wine or two a few times a week....
I can't remember when I first heard the phrase "relationship with alcohol" but it immediately struck an uneasy chord, maybe because by the time my children were, say, 10 and 6 I had begun to think about my drinking the way someone thinks about some secret messed up relationship with some horrible boyfriend who you know is terrible for you but you want them anyway. I drank more after I had children than before, which is pretty much the case with every single mother friend I have. I wanted a glass of wine or more about half the nights during the week, and by "a glass" I do not mean some demure 5 ounce little standard pour (those only exist in restaurants). And on nights I didn't drink I often thought about it. Just LOOK at me not drinking tonight. Oh, I haven't had a drink in three whole days now, let's have two tonight. I deserve it. Damn, I can't wait for that party on Friday because this is a SHIT time of it I'm having here, now, with myself. No, my thoughts in the moment wouldn't be that well articulated but the underlying sentiment was true: a difficulty sitting with myself (as a woman/parent/human being), staying in the present. I'd want to get away from and out of myself, my head, my perception of my own inadequacies. And that meant having a drink. Or three or four.
I suppose I quit because I got tired and unnerved by the thinking about it, the wanting it, the rationalizing I'd do about when I could have it and when I couldn't or shouldn't. (The last blowout night was just the last straw.) It took up too much space in my brain. I also quit because I've NEVER had a good tolerance for it--one half a glass of white wine would give me a buzz, and I wouldn't stop at that. I quit because I started to feel like my drinking was a slippery slope, and the ground underneath my feet was getting a little steeper, a little slicker.
Rachel thank you for taking the time to write this. This kind of “bad boyfriend” / guilty pleasure / on-off relationship with alcohol is so common it’s great you have put it out there for others - and wonderful you have taking control of your drinking. ❤️
There is a medication called Naltrexone that curbs alcohol cravings much like the weight loss meds. It starts at 50MG, and I learned of it through my son's friend who really struggled, and he was at 150 MG.
I was having a major surgery with no alcohol the week before and after and was nervous, so I asked my GP for the lowest dose which he thanked me for (hadn't heard of this) and happily prescribed. I took it for that time period and thought maybe it was a placebo, but was successful. Now my husband is having a knee replacement and I will be home alone with him, caretaking for months so I thought I'd try it again with the left over script. BINGO. One pill.
Please share in your newsletter. I'm shocked there is little awareness, or marketing of this very useful aid - instead of old fashioned will power.
I have been using Naltrexone with The Sinclair Method to get my drinking under control since September 2024. It works. I was a 6 to 7 day a week drinker and now I'm a 1 to 2 day a week, maybe. I've had whole weeks go by and then I realize I haven't had a drink. It's been a miracle for me. And the best part is, there is zero white knuckling it. I just don't care anymore.
In October 2024, I joined Sunnyside., which is an on line alcohol support app. There is a yearly fee (75.00) The goal is to help you track your drinking and set goals for yourself each week. They aim for "dry days", and offer support and no judgement. They text each evening at dinner time to remind you of your set goal for the day. The next morning, they check back in to see how you have done. It is a gentle nudge to stay on track. Their goal is not for you to stop drinking if you don't want to, but to remain in control and aware of why and when you drink.It is supportive, encouraging and nonjudgemental. It has helped me refocus my relationship with alcohol. It is a challenge but there is great support there if you need it. Just a thought... it might help others.
Thank you for the great information and bottom line is there are no health benefits to drinking alcohol. My sales career included drinks at lunch, after hours, at home, on vacations, wherever!
Never considered drinking a problem and then one day after 50 plus years I was diagnosed with the start of Cirrhosis after being warned about fatty liver disease (FLD) and enlarged liver after annual physicals. There weren't any obvious signs like too many hangovers, health issues other than what was thought to be upset stomach. However, cirrhosis can be asymptomatic until it is too late or diagnosed early on you might have 3-10 years before it does you in.
I have been sober for 3 years, still in good health, 77 years old, retired, enjoying my family. It is one day at a time and thankful for now!
What helped me in the beginning of my sober journey was the book by Annie Grace, This Naked Mind. Like your information, it deals with facts regarding alcohol use- THERE ARE NO BENEFITS short or long term, your choice!
I guess that millions of Europeans have health problems they aren't aware of because they drink two or three glasses of wine most days.
I wonder what difference it makes if one drinks only Vermouth and wine and not whiskey. After all, whiskey has more than twice much alcohol content as the other two have.
I have a single drink probably 3 or 4 times a week. I don't perceive it as a problem as defined above, but who knows. I did have an issue when I was on two medications (propranolol and Terbafine) at once and my liver numbers spiked.
I haven't had any booze since the first week of last August, when I got food poisoning, and somehow barfed up whatever part of me had cravings. Still don't get a jones for a delicious meal at my favorite Greek or Mexican joints, let alone a lovely margarita (both places have great hibiscus ones). I do enjoy drinking, though...dealcoholized wines and mocktails. Recently, we had dinner at a semi-fancy Italian place and my friend who is now also a non-alky, brought me a bottle of faux pinot noir to try. I had asked the waiter before she arrived if they had any dealcoholized wine; nope. So, when I was passed this bottle, I asked what the corkage fee would be and LOL'd when he said $35. We stuck to water. Don't miss the alcohol. Getting the best of both worlds. xo
Have you by any chance read the science and the controversy behind those highly flawed studies? The cancer risk studies for example, did not separate smokers from drinkers, bad from good diet, previous health issues or cancers. There were no control groups. I suggest you read Felicity Carter who has been doing brilliant reportage on this topic. Pretty interesting stuff.
Not insignificant: The Prohibitionist group Movendi actually wrote the WHO report. Conflict of interest? That's a little like putting the devil at the gate to heaven. They are on a mission to equate wine with "alcohol" even though the process, ingredients and alcohol are so different. Also, drinking wine with food as opposed to knocking back some drinks at the bar, is different. So, why has wine been included in the attack? As was explained to me, if wine, the only of the beverages that have had 'health benefit claims" (forget the French Paradox, that was unfortunate. However wine has been used for better or for worse as medicine for ages) can be taken down, the prohibition group can easily take down booze. Anyway, I really appreciate your work but this time, I had to be a bit critical.
Alcohol can certainly exacerbate GERD and IBS as you indicated. I will add that it is not clear whether natural wine --which is processed differently than conventional-- is also a trigger. The PR company that originally took on this campaign had signed on for moderation as the message not obliteration (and to some of us 2 glasses of wine a night with dinner is indeed moderation).
Anyway, full disclosure, I am a wine writer. I could go on and on but, will stop there! Thank you for your work!
l'instabilita' e l'irraitabilita' delle persone (nervose) non vanno ricercate solo nelle abitutini alimentari come l'alcol e il fumo ma anche nello stress a cui si e' sottoposti durante la giornata , che mette a dura prova la nostra soglia di sopportazione , ed il controllo della persona per motivi di opportunita' e di lavoro. Ma e' come un meccanismo difensivo che psicologicamente ed automaticamente scatta quanto ci sentiamo minacciati , e cio' avviene per istinto di difesa.
Great and right on the nose post Lucy . We all try to start out as casual drinkers ,Then in some cases like mine casual goes out the window .For years i wasn't close to casual anymore .I was a full blown drunk .After almost 25 yeas of daily drinking .I quit . It is very hard to do but can be done . You have expressed how and what people go through when they start , and are very keen not to judge them .Yes it can hurt your body in many ways , And a lot of times we start because at least in my case stress and depression .Biggest problem i see from male side is many hide their depression and or stress ,Then try to hide how much they drink . Great post DR Lucy . hugs and peace to you and family
The last time I had a drink was April 2024, nearing a year ago. Okay, a lot of drinks. Far, far too many that night. Usually--meaning, if I am very honest with myself, about 75 percent of the time--I'd stop at two. The other 20 percent of the time I'd go to three. Ish. But a handful--a rather big handful-- of times in my life I went overboard, as if responding to some internal pressure building, building, building. Heeding a goblin-like little voice that would insinuate itself into my head: "come on--you know it's been a while. Call up _____ and go OUT." Go where people were drinking. Heavily. I'd get the odd, but unmistakable, urge to let loose. Blow off steam. And when I'd get these urges I'd want to indulge them without my husband around. And then I'd come home and get massively, ridiculously ill, and have a debilitating hangover the next day. It was BAD. Really, really bad, some of these nights, not only for my health but, I have to admit, my safety. Then I'd drink nothing for a few weeks or a month, then go back to having a glass of wine or two a few times a week....
I can't remember when I first heard the phrase "relationship with alcohol" but it immediately struck an uneasy chord, maybe because by the time my children were, say, 10 and 6 I had begun to think about my drinking the way someone thinks about some secret messed up relationship with some horrible boyfriend who you know is terrible for you but you want them anyway. I drank more after I had children than before, which is pretty much the case with every single mother friend I have. I wanted a glass of wine or more about half the nights during the week, and by "a glass" I do not mean some demure 5 ounce little standard pour (those only exist in restaurants). And on nights I didn't drink I often thought about it. Just LOOK at me not drinking tonight. Oh, I haven't had a drink in three whole days now, let's have two tonight. I deserve it. Damn, I can't wait for that party on Friday because this is a SHIT time of it I'm having here, now, with myself. No, my thoughts in the moment wouldn't be that well articulated but the underlying sentiment was true: a difficulty sitting with myself (as a woman/parent/human being), staying in the present. I'd want to get away from and out of myself, my head, my perception of my own inadequacies. And that meant having a drink. Or three or four.
I suppose I quit because I got tired and unnerved by the thinking about it, the wanting it, the rationalizing I'd do about when I could have it and when I couldn't or shouldn't. (The last blowout night was just the last straw.) It took up too much space in my brain. I also quit because I've NEVER had a good tolerance for it--one half a glass of white wine would give me a buzz, and I wouldn't stop at that. I quit because I started to feel like my drinking was a slippery slope, and the ground underneath my feet was getting a little steeper, a little slicker.
Rachel thank you for taking the time to write this. This kind of “bad boyfriend” / guilty pleasure / on-off relationship with alcohol is so common it’s great you have put it out there for others - and wonderful you have taking control of your drinking. ❤️
Hi Dr. Lucy,
There is a medication called Naltrexone that curbs alcohol cravings much like the weight loss meds. It starts at 50MG, and I learned of it through my son's friend who really struggled, and he was at 150 MG.
I was having a major surgery with no alcohol the week before and after and was nervous, so I asked my GP for the lowest dose which he thanked me for (hadn't heard of this) and happily prescribed. I took it for that time period and thought maybe it was a placebo, but was successful. Now my husband is having a knee replacement and I will be home alone with him, caretaking for months so I thought I'd try it again with the left over script. BINGO. One pill.
Please share in your newsletter. I'm shocked there is little awareness, or marketing of this very useful aid - instead of old fashioned will power.
I'm curious what you'll find out.
Yes I often prescribe this for patients - thanks for sharing your experience!
I have been using Naltrexone with The Sinclair Method to get my drinking under control since September 2024. It works. I was a 6 to 7 day a week drinker and now I'm a 1 to 2 day a week, maybe. I've had whole weeks go by and then I realize I haven't had a drink. It's been a miracle for me. And the best part is, there is zero white knuckling it. I just don't care anymore.
So great to hear, Shannon
Great piece… thank you.
Tim Tyler
Thanks!!
In October 2024, I joined Sunnyside., which is an on line alcohol support app. There is a yearly fee (75.00) The goal is to help you track your drinking and set goals for yourself each week. They aim for "dry days", and offer support and no judgement. They text each evening at dinner time to remind you of your set goal for the day. The next morning, they check back in to see how you have done. It is a gentle nudge to stay on track. Their goal is not for you to stop drinking if you don't want to, but to remain in control and aware of why and when you drink.It is supportive, encouraging and nonjudgemental. It has helped me refocus my relationship with alcohol. It is a challenge but there is great support there if you need it. Just a thought... it might help others.
Nice!! Thank you for sharing this, Kathleen 🙏
Hello Dr. Lucy,
Thank you for the great information and bottom line is there are no health benefits to drinking alcohol. My sales career included drinks at lunch, after hours, at home, on vacations, wherever!
Never considered drinking a problem and then one day after 50 plus years I was diagnosed with the start of Cirrhosis after being warned about fatty liver disease (FLD) and enlarged liver after annual physicals. There weren't any obvious signs like too many hangovers, health issues other than what was thought to be upset stomach. However, cirrhosis can be asymptomatic until it is too late or diagnosed early on you might have 3-10 years before it does you in.
I have been sober for 3 years, still in good health, 77 years old, retired, enjoying my family. It is one day at a time and thankful for now!
What helped me in the beginning of my sober journey was the book by Annie Grace, This Naked Mind. Like your information, it deals with facts regarding alcohol use- THERE ARE NO BENEFITS short or long term, your choice!
Thanks for sharing this with us
I guess that millions of Europeans have health problems they aren't aware of because they drink two or three glasses of wine most days.
I wonder what difference it makes if one drinks only Vermouth and wine and not whiskey. After all, whiskey has more than twice much alcohol content as the other two have.
I have a single drink probably 3 or 4 times a week. I don't perceive it as a problem as defined above, but who knows. I did have an issue when I was on two medications (propranolol and Terbafine) at once and my liver numbers spiked.
I haven't had any booze since the first week of last August, when I got food poisoning, and somehow barfed up whatever part of me had cravings. Still don't get a jones for a delicious meal at my favorite Greek or Mexican joints, let alone a lovely margarita (both places have great hibiscus ones). I do enjoy drinking, though...dealcoholized wines and mocktails. Recently, we had dinner at a semi-fancy Italian place and my friend who is now also a non-alky, brought me a bottle of faux pinot noir to try. I had asked the waiter before she arrived if they had any dealcoholized wine; nope. So, when I was passed this bottle, I asked what the corkage fee would be and LOL'd when he said $35. We stuck to water. Don't miss the alcohol. Getting the best of both worlds. xo
Have you by any chance read the science and the controversy behind those highly flawed studies? The cancer risk studies for example, did not separate smokers from drinkers, bad from good diet, previous health issues or cancers. There were no control groups. I suggest you read Felicity Carter who has been doing brilliant reportage on this topic. Pretty interesting stuff.
Not insignificant: The Prohibitionist group Movendi actually wrote the WHO report. Conflict of interest? That's a little like putting the devil at the gate to heaven. They are on a mission to equate wine with "alcohol" even though the process, ingredients and alcohol are so different. Also, drinking wine with food as opposed to knocking back some drinks at the bar, is different. So, why has wine been included in the attack? As was explained to me, if wine, the only of the beverages that have had 'health benefit claims" (forget the French Paradox, that was unfortunate. However wine has been used for better or for worse as medicine for ages) can be taken down, the prohibition group can easily take down booze. Anyway, I really appreciate your work but this time, I had to be a bit critical.
Alcohol can certainly exacerbate GERD and IBS as you indicated. I will add that it is not clear whether natural wine --which is processed differently than conventional-- is also a trigger. The PR company that originally took on this campaign had signed on for moderation as the message not obliteration (and to some of us 2 glasses of wine a night with dinner is indeed moderation).
Anyway, full disclosure, I am a wine writer. I could go on and on but, will stop there! Thank you for your work!
Damnation is only for those that believe in damnation.
For the butterfly of freedom to experience its metamorphosis it must escape from the chrysalis of belief.
Sorry. I live in the multi-colored world of metaphor. I’ll remove myself from this discussion.
Fair enough! 😊
l'instabilita' e l'irraitabilita' delle persone (nervose) non vanno ricercate solo nelle abitutini alimentari come l'alcol e il fumo ma anche nello stress a cui si e' sottoposti durante la giornata , che mette a dura prova la nostra soglia di sopportazione , ed il controllo della persona per motivi di opportunita' e di lavoro. Ma e' come un meccanismo difensivo che psicologicamente ed automaticamente scatta quanto ci sentiamo minacciati , e cio' avviene per istinto di difesa.
Great and right on the nose post Lucy . We all try to start out as casual drinkers ,Then in some cases like mine casual goes out the window .For years i wasn't close to casual anymore .I was a full blown drunk .After almost 25 yeas of daily drinking .I quit . It is very hard to do but can be done . You have expressed how and what people go through when they start , and are very keen not to judge them .Yes it can hurt your body in many ways , And a lot of times we start because at least in my case stress and depression .Biggest problem i see from male side is many hide their depression and or stress ,Then try to hide how much they drink . Great post DR Lucy . hugs and peace to you and family