Make Kindness Great Again

The healing power of complete strangers

Jul 08, 2025

ICYMI 👉

A year ago in July, I discovered something profound in the most unexpected place: standing alone, soaking wet, on a bridge in Amsterdam. There, I watched complete strangers turn their boat around to rescue my favorite hat from drifting away in a canal. It wasn't just kindness—it was the antidote to the chronic stress that's making so many of us sick.

In the year since I wrote about that weekend, I've seen this pattern repeatedly in my practice. Patients arrive feeling depleted, anxious, physically symptomatic—and often, what they're missing isn't a vitamin or a medication. It's the basic human experience of being seen, of mattering to someone, of existing in a world where people choose kindness over indifference.

I went to Amsterdam to witness Taylor Swift in her glory. But the best parts of that trip was about human connection—the 10-year-old girl who gave me a friendship bracelet, strangers on a subway car sharing face glitter. These weren't just nice moments; they were examples of what researcher Dr. Stephanie Brown calls "helper's high," the documented physiological response that occurs when we witness or experience unexpected kindness. Our stress hormones drop. Our immune function improves. Our sense of possibility expands.

Today I'm resharing this story because it feels more necessary than ever. In times of uncertainty and despair, we need deliberate doses of human goodness. It’s the medicine we need for what ails us.

Originally published July 8, 2024

My husband and I traveled to Amsterdam over the holiday weekend to see Taylor Swift in concert. It was a treat above all treats. It was also an overdue getaway for the two of us who, like many couples, find ourselves prioritizing work and kids over time together. We went for a dose of relaxation and frivolity, however we came home with something completely unexpected.

It wasn’t Taylor’s songs that surprised me. I’d already memorized most of her lyrics, the volume turned up while driving to work or folding laundry. It wasn’t her dancing either. I’d already practiced some of her side-stepping, shimmying dance moves in front of the mirror at home. It also wasn’t the throngs of screaming, sequined Swifties—of which I was one—who, like me, felt seen and validated by her music.

No, the magic of the weekend wasn’t anything you download to your phone or hear through headphones. It was something you had to feel in person. It was the kindness of ordinary people.

I had assumed that simply being in her presence would provide a sufficient boost to my health and happiness. After all, I’ve argued that Taylor Swift is good for one’s health. But what I didn’t realize was how much I needed a dose of compassion from total strangers.

Take, for example, the 10-year-old girl in a pink tutu standing with her dad on the crowded subway ride to the concert. She poked my arm and looked up at me with kind eyes and an open bag of handmade beads. “Would you like a friendship bracelet?” At first I hesitated, puzzled as to why a complete stranger would offer me a gift, so she nodded a few times to encourage me, “You can take whichever one you like, miss!!”

My body suddenly relaxed. My neck and shoulders, tense from traveling, went slack. I thanked the girl and she smiled. I looked up at her dad and he gently smiled back. It turns out that kindness is not only good for our health; it’s infectious.

I suddenly felt inspired to dig around in my fanny pack and pull out my $6.99 tube of pink face glitter. “Anyone?” I called out into the subway car, holding up the tube for all to see. “I’ll take some!” “Oh, yes, please!” replied a handful of expectant women. Suddenly I’d made a few new friends. The next ten minutes became a veritable beauty bar—with me holding up my phone as a mirror for the gaggle of strangers, one at a time, to apply glittery gel to their cheeks and eyelids.

The concert itself was extraordinary. The crowd was more than just a group of music fans. We were strangers of all different colors, shapes, and sizes and from all over the world who, for one night, delighted in each other’s company for no reason other than we were there together.

On our last day in Amsterdam, I went out shopping while my husband took a nap. It was rainy and windy outside. Walking back to the hotel, dodging bicycle riders and holding on tight to my bags, I was soaking wet despite wearing a slicker and wide brim hat. I squinted into the rainy air as I walked over a bridge when suddenly a gust of wind blew my hat off. I chased after it toward the water’s edge, but it was too late. My hat fell into the canal and was being swept away.

A group of strangers behind me called out, “Oh no!!! Poor lady! We were admiring that hat from a distance!” The jolly group of men and women caught up to me, and together we stood on the bridge watching my hat fade into the distance. “Oh well,” I sighed, feeling a bit bereft (after all, I had worn that hat to see Taylor Swift) but buoyed by the camaraderie of strangers.

I started to collect myself. As I pulled my heavy wet hair off my face, I heard shouts coming from the water. Three men on a river boat were feverishly pointing to my hat and then to me. They had turned their vessel around to fetch it. I jogged up to the edge of the canal where the men pulled over their boat and proudly handed me my soggy hat. Cheers arose through the crowd of new friends.

So, as much as I love Taylor’s music and glam, I love her for pulling people together—and for reminding me that kindness matters and that perfect strangers can surprise and delight us. It turns out that generosity is everywhere if you are open to it. It’s also good for our health.

Isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it? [It’s Delicate.]

-T. Swift

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