I am a 77 year old and in general good health relative to my age. I have been an athlete all my life as well as working as a carpenter and general contractor for my career. In other words, very active. In 1996 I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both hips, the right one especially bad. The ortho said that the path I was on would eventually lead to hip replacement. I was treated conservatively for 6 years which included giving up running (I took up mountain biking at this point). In 2002 I had my right hip resurfaced ( a procedure that has since fallen out of favor but was successful for me). I had 2 arthroscopic procedures on my right knee for torn meniscus cartilage. Last year (2023) I had my right knee replaced. It is doing well although the healing, recovery, rehab is no walk in the park. In January, 2024 I had arthroscopic surgery for damaged meniscus in my left knee as well as sub chondroplasty (injecting synthetic bone cement into bone marrow lesions in my tibia and fibula). The knee is doing okay but not great (I may have to get it replaced). Last month I had my left hip replaced. It is doing well and I am beginning to resume my normal activities. I have a lot of hardware in this aging body! I am just so damn grateful that joint replacement has evolved to the point where older folks can continue to live active and relatively pain free lives!
What a story, Ken! It’s wonderful to hear about someone reaping the rewards of replaced hardware when needed. You are also modeling the process of acceptance that accompanies various “dings” to our skeleton along the way :)
Perhaps I have just taken my body for granted. I am a 70 year-old, full-time caregiver for my 98 year-old mother. For real we sons I can not understand, none of my siblings (nor my estranged children) are helping me with anything. I have spent the past 13 years since I retired helping my parents, including cleaning out their house to sell it. I have not been able to focus on my own health during this time, so now my joints are "angry" with arthritis pain. My vertebrae are deteriorating in my lower back to a point that I am in constant pain. I have been told I need two knee replacements and wrist surgery on both wrists. Most of this deterioration has happened in the past few years. However, I am unable to have the joint surgery, because of needing to care for my mother. I am in constant pain, and there is nothing I can do. For all the years I was working and raising children, then working to take care of my mother, I looked forward to retirement when I could do for me. But my body has worn out and I am in constant pain. This just doesn't seem fair.
I am so sorry to hear this. It does not seem fair at all. I hope you get the medical care you need and deserve. In the meantime, please be gentle with yourself :)
At this point I just go day by day. I have no control of the problems others cause for me (such as the doctor's office calling in the wrong dosage and the pharmacy doesn't have enough to fill the corrected dosage so I have to wait until it comes in and hope I don't run out before it comes in. That is only one of the issues I didn't have planned, but had to deal with today. I would kill for six months with no drama.
I am really sorry this is your situation. Far too many of us who care for our parents are abandoned by our siblings. Please try to put yourself first sometimes. There is assistance out there. Your local senior center is a great place to start. Take care of you too.
Geez, what a brutally difficult situation. I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering this way, and that you are experiencing such an awful lack of support.
It's so difficult to set boundaries when the people we love are in need. And so hard to ask for the help WE need, even when we are struggling. The costs of overrunning our own capacity are exactly as Dr. McBride states: the breakage of our container (and sometimes our hearts). But our culture doesn't do a great job of teaching us to avoid that breakage — or how to heal it.
I was also thinking, though, as I listened, about how her body would inevitably begin showing the signs of what I call "Pissed-Off Body Syndrome" if she did not make some changes in her relationships with her family.
The good news is, as long as we are alive, body-mind healing is always possible. We may not "get back" to our original mint condition (particularly if, like the subject of the podcast, we have lost limbs, etc.), but we can find ways to move forward into unexplored territories of growth and well-being. And I do believe that is possible for you, too, whenever you are ready.
If you need help on finding the right place to begin, just ask. I'd be happy to help.
Diminishment of physical self is an unpleasant 'slap in the face' - yes, our youthful physical being is aging. The disconnect that some of us feel between our mental self image (I'm 75 but feel 45) and the physical decline takes getting used to, but we must adapt to the reality while striving to stay as healthy as we can. I constantly tell myself to stop fighting a natural order of life. Onward is my motto.
Thank you! I really connected with this and found the stories inspiring. I’m an age 59 female and very active - weight-training, running, cycling, pickleball. I got a bone bruise on my patella at the height of Covid. This sidelined me for about 6 weeks but I kept training my upper body. I got depressed because I was catastrophizing worrying about physical decline. Being less active negatively affects my mental health. Someone recently told me the only way to avoid injuries is to stop your body sport 😉. I now realize that my fitness helped me recover.
I've always been grateful that my body allows me so much movement and life. Right now I am nursing a painful shoulder, which is the big picture isn't a big deal, unless it gets worse. I pay attention to things in my body that are out of whack and do everything I can to get them back to balance. I eat well, exercise, do yoga and walk a ton. I know every light jog, every walk, every weight lifted is strengthening my muscles and bones and it will benefit me later in life. It isn't so much about how I look anymore. I think I grew out of that in my 30s. I love that you're sharing Greg's inspiring story!
I never imagined as a 63 year old women my body would wear down so quickly. I have arthritis is both knees and degenerative spinal disease (sounds scary) and osteoarthritis in both hips. I will soon be having a hip replacement. I’ve always been active and do my best to stay healthy in mind and body. I’ve been athletic and active all my life. Now feel my physical container is letting me down. Thank goodness for improved procedures and great medical advances. I hope to continue leading an active lifestyle as long as I can.
I am a 77 year old and in general good health relative to my age. I have been an athlete all my life as well as working as a carpenter and general contractor for my career. In other words, very active. In 1996 I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in both hips, the right one especially bad. The ortho said that the path I was on would eventually lead to hip replacement. I was treated conservatively for 6 years which included giving up running (I took up mountain biking at this point). In 2002 I had my right hip resurfaced ( a procedure that has since fallen out of favor but was successful for me). I had 2 arthroscopic procedures on my right knee for torn meniscus cartilage. Last year (2023) I had my right knee replaced. It is doing well although the healing, recovery, rehab is no walk in the park. In January, 2024 I had arthroscopic surgery for damaged meniscus in my left knee as well as sub chondroplasty (injecting synthetic bone cement into bone marrow lesions in my tibia and fibula). The knee is doing okay but not great (I may have to get it replaced). Last month I had my left hip replaced. It is doing well and I am beginning to resume my normal activities. I have a lot of hardware in this aging body! I am just so damn grateful that joint replacement has evolved to the point where older folks can continue to live active and relatively pain free lives!
What a story, Ken! It’s wonderful to hear about someone reaping the rewards of replaced hardware when needed. You are also modeling the process of acceptance that accompanies various “dings” to our skeleton along the way :)
All the best to you!
Perhaps I have just taken my body for granted. I am a 70 year-old, full-time caregiver for my 98 year-old mother. For real we sons I can not understand, none of my siblings (nor my estranged children) are helping me with anything. I have spent the past 13 years since I retired helping my parents, including cleaning out their house to sell it. I have not been able to focus on my own health during this time, so now my joints are "angry" with arthritis pain. My vertebrae are deteriorating in my lower back to a point that I am in constant pain. I have been told I need two knee replacements and wrist surgery on both wrists. Most of this deterioration has happened in the past few years. However, I am unable to have the joint surgery, because of needing to care for my mother. I am in constant pain, and there is nothing I can do. For all the years I was working and raising children, then working to take care of my mother, I looked forward to retirement when I could do for me. But my body has worn out and I am in constant pain. This just doesn't seem fair.
I am so sorry to hear this. It does not seem fair at all. I hope you get the medical care you need and deserve. In the meantime, please be gentle with yourself :)
At this point I just go day by day. I have no control of the problems others cause for me (such as the doctor's office calling in the wrong dosage and the pharmacy doesn't have enough to fill the corrected dosage so I have to wait until it comes in and hope I don't run out before it comes in. That is only one of the issues I didn't have planned, but had to deal with today. I would kill for six months with no drama.
I am really sorry this is your situation. Far too many of us who care for our parents are abandoned by our siblings. Please try to put yourself first sometimes. There is assistance out there. Your local senior center is a great place to start. Take care of you too.
I couldn’t agree more. ☺️
Geez, what a brutally difficult situation. I'm so sorry to hear you are suffering this way, and that you are experiencing such an awful lack of support.
It's so difficult to set boundaries when the people we love are in need. And so hard to ask for the help WE need, even when we are struggling. The costs of overrunning our own capacity are exactly as Dr. McBride states: the breakage of our container (and sometimes our hearts). But our culture doesn't do a great job of teaching us to avoid that breakage — or how to heal it.
I just listened to another podcast from Esther Perel, where a much younger woman describes a similar situation as yours — although she is in the early stages of this journey, and her suffering has been more emotional vs. physical. (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-calling-it-feels-like-my-siblings-abandoned-me/id1237931798?i=1000655918338)
I was also thinking, though, as I listened, about how her body would inevitably begin showing the signs of what I call "Pissed-Off Body Syndrome" if she did not make some changes in her relationships with her family.
The good news is, as long as we are alive, body-mind healing is always possible. We may not "get back" to our original mint condition (particularly if, like the subject of the podcast, we have lost limbs, etc.), but we can find ways to move forward into unexplored territories of growth and well-being. And I do believe that is possible for you, too, whenever you are ready.
If you need help on finding the right place to begin, just ask. I'd be happy to help.
Thank you for your kindness and wisdom, Pilar. ❤️
Diminishment of physical self is an unpleasant 'slap in the face' - yes, our youthful physical being is aging. The disconnect that some of us feel between our mental self image (I'm 75 but feel 45) and the physical decline takes getting used to, but we must adapt to the reality while striving to stay as healthy as we can. I constantly tell myself to stop fighting a natural order of life. Onward is my motto.
“Onward” is a great motto. It implies acceptance and agency at once, both of which are, to me, critical for health. Thanks for this!
Thank you! I really connected with this and found the stories inspiring. I’m an age 59 female and very active - weight-training, running, cycling, pickleball. I got a bone bruise on my patella at the height of Covid. This sidelined me for about 6 weeks but I kept training my upper body. I got depressed because I was catastrophizing worrying about physical decline. Being less active negatively affects my mental health. Someone recently told me the only way to avoid injuries is to stop your body sport 😉. I now realize that my fitness helped me recover.
Great insight, Jill. Funny how our bodies, even with on the fritz, can be our best teachers.
I've always been grateful that my body allows me so much movement and life. Right now I am nursing a painful shoulder, which is the big picture isn't a big deal, unless it gets worse. I pay attention to things in my body that are out of whack and do everything I can to get them back to balance. I eat well, exercise, do yoga and walk a ton. I know every light jog, every walk, every weight lifted is strengthening my muscles and bones and it will benefit me later in life. It isn't so much about how I look anymore. I think I grew out of that in my 30s. I love that you're sharing Greg's inspiring story!
Yes, so true! Every little bit helps. As you say, every jog, walk or weight is an investment in your current and future self. :)
I never imagined as a 63 year old women my body would wear down so quickly. I have arthritis is both knees and degenerative spinal disease (sounds scary) and osteoarthritis in both hips. I will soon be having a hip replacement. I’ve always been active and do my best to stay healthy in mind and body. I’ve been athletic and active all my life. Now feel my physical container is letting me down. Thank goodness for improved procedures and great medical advances. I hope to continue leading an active lifestyle as long as I can.