When DIY Medicine Fails
A Doctor’s Pain in the Neck—Part II 🩻
ICYMI 👉
I just learned the hard way that stress management techniques are necessary but not always sufficient for my health.
Ever since I wrote about my own neck pain, I’ve been working under the assumption that all I needed to get rid of this nagging ache was to reduce stress and unlock tight muscles.
I had a grand plan. Relax a little! Get more sleep! Stretch! Breathe! You’ve got this!
What wasn’t on my agenda, however, was considering the possibility that something more complicated was going on—that it wasn’t just stress. So, when my left arm became weak and numb, it became clear that DIY medicine wasn’t doing the trick.
It was time to call a doctor.
One of the more humbling experiences as a physician is hearing your medical colleague state something so glaringly obvious that you instantly realize your own cognitive bias.
“Lucy, you need an MRI—ASAP.”
It was the smack in the face I needed. Somehow I had convinced myself I couldn't possibly have a serious skeletal problem—and that my neck was something I could fix on my own.
The prospect of an MRI also provided relief. Aha! I thought. Maybe I can attribute my pain to something simple! Maybe the solution is less complicated than reorganizing my busy life! Maybe I’m not such a stress-case after all!
Even though my day job involves considering multiple diagnoses for other people’s health problems, I hadn't considered the possibility that two things could be true at once in my own body.
Anyone who knows me is aware of my passion for simplicity. I love taking a complicated problem and distilling it into its purest essence. Even the most complex problems become workable when we drill down into the core questions first and then build a set of solutions around them.
I often say to patients, “Every problem is solvable.” (I also note that they may not like the solution, but that a solution nonetheless exists.) However, when it comes to problem-solving my own medical conundrum, apparently I am my own worst enemy.
Why? Because I hadn’t asked the right question in the first place. I had jumped to a solution before asking the right question.
The core question was not, “How can I relieve muscle tension?” It was a broader inquiry: “Why do I have pain in the first place?”
To be clear: I’m not beating myself up for being human. I’m simply pointing out how easily we get in our own way—and how sometimes the stories we tell ourselves are only partially true.
A partial truth can be as misleading as a lie.
Indeed my MRI revealed the whole truth: I have three herniated discs pressing on the nerve roots that supply sensation and motor function to my left arm and hand.
Upon learning this, I had a few epiphanies. First, lying inside an MRI scanner probably shouldn’t count as “me time” (even though it felt great to be alone and horizontal for 30 minutes). Second, two things can be true at the same time—specifically, stress and skeletal problems can co-exist. Stress can exacerbate skeletal pain. Skeletal pain can exacerbate stress.
So yes, I still need to work on stress management. No doubt! But the core question isn’t Is stress a factor in my health? It is. Stress affects each one of us to varying degrees and in different ways. The questions instead should be:
To what extent is stress the main driver of this problem?
What else could be going on?
Who else should I consult for advice?
Just because stress is part of the problem, doesn’t mean you don't also have something physically wrong with you.
Ever since my MRI revealed the disc herniations and pinched nerves, I have been a dutiful patient. I’ve met with my orthopedic surgeon. I’ve taken two courses of oral steroids and had a steroid shot directly into my spine. I engage in physical therapy each week.
The irony is that my stress level has dropped now that I’ve asked for help, have some clearer answers, and have a more holistic plan.
Am I worried about my still-weak tricep muscles and numb left fingers? Sure. Will I do everything possible to avoid spine surgery? You bet. Will I remain open-minded about surgical options if that’s what my doctors recommend? They hope so. 😆
Until then, I am mostly grateful for the anatomy lesson my own body is teaching me and for this masterclass in humility.
The upshot? Give yourself permission to ask for help, to challenge your assumptions, and to trust the experts—even when you think you know best.
It takes a village to be healthy. Who is in yours?
If you found this post helpful, please share it widely! Also click the ❤️ or 🔄 button below so that more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are entirely my own. They do not reflect those of my employer, nor are they a substitute for advice from your personal physician.
As I head out this morning for a biopsy of a "concerning area", I join you in enacting intelligent, self loving behavior.. Yes, I certainly hope that I I may be fortunate enough to find the remnant of an old intercostal injury and not metastasis from breast cancer. But if whatever it is turns out to be , indeed, diagnosable and treatable, I am still ahead of the game. My wish for us and for everyone else is that we are diagnosable and treatable and that we find the relief from the pain of anxiety that comes from "knowing"and being given an opportunity act on behalf of our health.The optimum would be a return to full health. L'Chaim. To Life.
First, and foremost I wish for the best with your condition. And I admire your courage and wisdom for seeking help, You may have procrastinated but in the end, you did make that decision to find out why your body was causing you pain. Something really struck a chord with me. When you said 'I hadn't considered the possibility that two things could be true at once in my own body.'
We shake with joy. We shake with grief. What a time they have, these two, housed in the same body. Mary Oliver
A few months ago you talked about 'stories' that we tell ourselves, when often they are only just that: 'stories'! It really resonated with me. We tell ourselves stories about our identity, and we need to examine these stories to see if they are actually true. In order to do that, we must let go of certainty, and look deeply to see where these stories originated and if they still hold true. I am sixty-seven years of age and on a daily basis I still examine my own 'maps of reality' and when I see that my belief systems are not true, I disregard my own beliefs accordingly. Being still in my mindfulness practice really helps. You have done the right thing. You did ask for help in the end. And make sure you do what your doctor tells you to do! LOL Take care and Kind regards Colin