4 Steps Toward Reclaiming Your Health
How to put yourself at the top of your 2024 to-do list 🎉
ICYMI 👉
(This story is shared with permission from my patient.)
I recently saw a 55-year-old educator and mother of three with high blood pressure, heartburn, and knee pain. As I entered the examination room to greet her, she immediately confessed, “I’ve been avoiding this appointment like the plague.”
My patient explained that the stress of problems for her kids at school, a carjacking on her street, plus the holidays, had sent her over the edge. To cope and try to de-stress, she started drinking more often and overeating at night. She had gained weight and didn’t have time to exercise. As a result, her blood pressure was high. Her knees ached. Her acid reflux was flaring from alcohol and then the extra caffeine she was using the next day. Adding insult to injury, she was ashamed to be struggling at all. “I am my own worst enemy,” she explained.
I reassured her that she’s not alone. Events around us, both close to home and overseas, are uniquely upsetting. The holidays disrupt our routines and can challenge our relationships with food, alcohol, and other people. With only so many hours in the day, we’re often forced to put ourselves last on the list. Caregivers are particularly vulnerable to added stress, and the health consequences of burnout are real.
My advice?
It wasn’t a lecture about the harms of alcohol and the benefits of daily exercise and eating lunch. It wasn’t a recommendation for a strict diet or New Year’s “cleanse.” No, no!
Instead, I suggested we reframe her internal narrative first.
For anyone with burnout or post-holiday remorse, it’s time to leave shame at the door and put your health at the top of the To-Do list.
Here’s how:
Recognize how normal you are. When faced with stress, our bodies release cortisol and adrenaline into our bloodstream. These neurochemicals allow us to run from danger, but they can also make us feel unwell. From jitteriness and heart palpitations to fatigue and insomnia, a body under stress is wired and tired. When we understand the natural human reaction to stress and normalize how we feel, we can start to remove the self-stigma of suffering. Remember that you are more normal than you think.
Know that your doctor wants to help—not judge—you. A doctor’s job is to provide a safe, non-judgmental space. It is to know and respect the social-emotional determinants of your health issues. It is to reframe weight gain (in this common instance) as a symptom of stress-induced overeating and not a sign of ignorance or personal failure. It is to provide guidance on the root causes of a medical problem (e.g., stress management in this case) and not a lecture about something that is a symptom of one.
Be honest. Tell your true story. Stop trying to dazzle your doctor or “win” your appointment; it’s time to get the help you need. Don’t obfuscate when your doctor asks about your drinking and eating and everyday habits. Stop shaming yourself and apologizing for being human. Remember that everyone has problems. Everyone has secrets and self-sabotaging behaviors. The question isn’t whether or not you’re flawed, it’s: How honest are you about identifying the triggers for your less-than-ideal habits in order to problem-solve in a realistic, sustainable way?
Ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of strength. Accepting help can be the first step to help you reclaim agency over your health. Who among us can manage the mental and physical tolls of being human alone? Your doctor is there to provide structure and support. You may need a therapist, a priest, or a rabbi. You may benefit from physical therapy, a sober coach, AA, a breathing technique, or a regular walking partner. When you ask for help and build the systems you need, you can start to take control of your health. So, treat yourself with self-compassion. Put yourself first on the list. Start building your support team and then start finding ways to reinforce your health goals. Your long-term health and well-being depend on it.
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are entirely my own. They do not reflect those of my employer, nor are they a substitute for advice from your personal physician.
so true. I appreciate this advice as a doctor and a human. The shame of our "mistakes" or "poor" decisions is so crippling. Personally, it is my unawareness of how much stress leads to my disassociation and how that disassociation (which was meant to protect me) unconsciously leads to unhealthy personal choices. Once we find that link, it becomes so much easier to manage and understand but all of it has to be approached with self compassion and not shame! It is radical since society teaches us to shame ourselves so well.
Great advice! We should all be so lucky to have a physician that thinks like you.